Learning to Breathe
by kballgetlost
Summary: Warning: Based on a small spoiler from Kristin about Kate. Takes place after Maternity Leave. Jate, also features Sun and Sawyer. Part Two is up. Fic Complete!
1. Chapter 1

It was late afternoon and Jack was rummaging through the meager medical supplies they had left at the caves. It had been a pretty quiet day. Most people had been avoiding him lately because of his foul mood. Not that he was outright mean to anyone, he just wasn't very talkative lately. Other than checking on Aaron again today to make sure that the rash was completely gone, Jack had mainly spent the day in the hatch tending to Henry. Now he figured he'd just spend the next few hours in the caves taking a break from everything. But his quiet bliss was broken by the one voice that never ceased to make him cringe.

"Hey Doc, got a patient for ya." Jack turned to see Sawyer and Sun dragging a very reluctant Kate towards him. "Had to drag her the whole way, shes a feisty one" As they got nearer Jack noticed the red bumpy rash on Kate's arms and face.

"What happened?" he questioned looking at Kate. When she failed to answer Sun jumped in. "She must have had an allergic reaction to a plant, or perhaps poison oak, while she was on the hike with Claire" Sun replied.

"On the what?" Jack asked alarmed. Sun fell silent and Sawyer chuckled. "Have fun freckles" he said before handing her off to Jack. "Hold her tight, she likes to run" Sawyer drawled before giving Kate his classic grin. "And shes been trying to scratch her arm off"

Jack lightly took her wrist and led her over to the cushions to sit. "Sun, is there some type of plant that you know of that can help with the itching?" Jack asked. "I think I might be able to find something. I'll be right back." She said.

Jack turned back to Kate and saw her scratching her arm. "Don't scratch it" he said gently pulling her hand away from her arm. "Are the hives anywhere else?"

Kate shrugged. "I haven't had the time to check" she said with a trace of bitterness. He nodded before moving towards her feet. "Can I?" he questioned gesturing to her pant leg. She nodded and he rolled her pant legs up to her knees. There were hives all over them as well. "Ok, lay on your back for a second" he said. Kate would have protested but the itching was getting worse and her chest felt a little tight so she decided to just do what he asked.

His hands went to the hem of her shirt and he rolled it up to just above her belly button. The hives were on her stomach as well. Jack sighed and rolled her shirt back down. "Alright" he said, "I'm going to give you some Benedryl which should make the hives go away, but it'll probably knock you out for a few hours. But hey you must be tired from all that hiking, right?" Jack said with a hint of disappointment mixed with anger.

Kate's chest tightened even more. "Jack" she said wearily as he turned his back to her to get the Benedryl and water. "Jack!" she said desperately as it got harder to breathe. He turned around to face her and was immediately alarmed seeing the unshed tears in her eyes and her gasps for air. He ran over to her and sat her up. "I..can't….breathe" she choked out.

"Kate you need to take these pills, your having a more severe reaction to the hives" he said giving her the pills and handing her the water. After she swallowed them he continued. "It will take a few minutes for the pills to kick in and until then your breathing is going to get worse, but you're going to be fine." Kate choked back a sob and kept gasping. "Kate, look at me! You're going to be ok. Just breathe. Try to take deep breaths" he urged her.

Sun returned with some plant concoction and when she walked in Jack noticed that a bit of a crowd had formed. Sawyer was among them. "She ok, Doc?" he asked. "Just give her some room" Jack shouted impatiently before turning back to Kate. She was starting to panic even more which was making her breathing worse. He rose from her side and straddled the cushions sitting behind her so that her back was firmly against his chest.

"Kate, you have to listen to me. I need you to breathe with me. You can do this." He brought her hand up to her own chest and held it there. "Come on Kate, breathe at the rate that I'm breathing." Kate's breaths starting to slow a little as she fought through the tightness in her chest. "That's it, you're doing great. Keep breathing with me Kate" Her unoccupied hand sought his and she gripped it as she tried to slow her breathing.

After another minute she was breathing in time with Jack. Her eyes fell closed as she worked on breathing slowly and in another minute she had fallen asleep. A relieved breath escaped Jacks lips before he brought his head up to take in the scene around him. Sun was wetting some cloths in the corner, and the rest of the crowd had creeped forward again.

"Is she going to be ok?" Claire asked softly. Jack nodded. "Yeah, she's going to be ok" The crowd started to slowly disperse and Jack's eyes fell on their still entwined hands. He unconsciously ran his thumb over her hand in a gentle manner. He had been scared. He knew she was going to be ok, but it killed him to see her like that. He never wanted to see that panic in her eyes again.

"Jack?" came Sun's voice softly interrupting his thoughts. He met her eyes. "Are you alright?" she asked. He nodded and replied. "I guess you should start putting that on the hives" he said gesturing to the concoction. Jack slowly got up from behind Kate and gently laid her head down on the cushion trying not to wake her.

For the next 10 minutes Jack and Sun silently applied the concoction to Kate's hives. When they were done, Sun finally broke the silence. "I can stay here with her until she wakes up if you want to get some rest" she said noticing how tired he looked. Jack slightly shook his head. "No its ok, I want to be here in case she needs more medicine when she wakes up." Sun simply nodded and took her leave. She knew he wouldn't leave. As much as they tried to deny it, everyone could see how much the two had grown to care about each other. Both had been miserable this past week since they hadn't been talking. Sun just hoped that maybe this little scare would help them to reconcile.

Jack dragged one of the nearby chopping blocks over to the cushions and sat beside Kate just watching her. The steady rise and fall of her chest let him know the medicine was doing its job. His eyes traveled to her face. She was incredibly beautiful, but somehow even she looked even more beautiful sleeping. She wore a peaceful expression. Jack couldn't help but smile at her, and he could just picture her smiling back in his head.

He missed her smile. How had things gotten so messed up? It had started with the kiss and from there he had just screwed everything up. Sure she was the one that had kissed him and ran, but he still blamed himself for where they were now. He had shut her out after that night in the jungle. He just couldn't handle seeing her with a gun to her head. It had made him want to tear Zeke apart limb by limb. He had never felt such rage for another human being. He knew then that his feelings for Kate had developed way more than he had thought.

So he distanced himself from her. If he didn't care as much, she couldn't hurt him. But he knew his efforts were pointless. He had barely spoken to her in a week and it had done nothing to lessen how he felt about her. If anything his feelings intensified. He worried more, and got jealous more. Basically it sucked. And now she had gone off into the jungle on a hike and he hadn't known about it. He didn't even want to think about what could have happened to her out there.

Kate mumbled something in her sleep and Jack snapped out of his thoughts to look at her again. She remained asleep. He hesitantly reached a hand out and took her hand in his. It was a scene he had seen so many times at the hospital. Family members sitting at the bedsides of their loved ones clasping onto their hands tightly as if they were afraid their loved one would die if they let go.

For all the times he had witnessed this scene, he never really imagine what it would be like to be that person sitting there waiting. He realized it was up to him to make amends with Kate. She had tried to talk to him but he had always brushed her off. It wasn't fair for him to punish her because of the way she made him feel. And that's what he had been doing.

"I'm sorry" he whispered to Kate's sleeping form while bringing her hand to his lips. He kissed her hand before enclosing it between both of his hands. He continued to watch her sleep. It was late and most of the survivors had long since retired to bed. Jack was exhausted and finally allowed himself to lean forward and rest his head on his and Kate's hands. He quickly fell into a dreamless sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Kate awoke still feeling a bit groggy and found herself staring up at trees with patches of sky in between. She was at the caves lying on plane cushions. Last nights events flooded back to her. Sawyer and Sun dragging her to the caves to Jack. Not being able to breathe, and then her memory went fuzzy.

She was brought out of her replay by a small shift of weight on her left side. She let out a gasp of surprise upon seeing Jack's sleeping form slumped over with his head resting on his hands which happened to be holding one of hers. Now she was confused. Jack hadn't spoken to her in almost a week, so why was he sitting here holding her hand?

She remembered how he had reacted upon hearing about her hike with Claire. He had been upset she knew, but he did what he had to do to make sure she would be ok. So that's all this was. She was his patient. He would do the same for anyone else on the island. She kept telling herself that. She needed to believe that because she was terrified that when he woke he would forget whatever small amount of tenderness he had shown her last night and go back to avoiding her.

After a few more minutes of watching him sleep, Kate reluctantly decided it was time to wake him up. She figured he'd want to know she was up and ok so he could go and get on with his day. So she gently squeezed his hand and inwardly braced herself for his reaction.

Jack awoke and quickly sat up. He hadn't noticed her lying there yet. He immediately brought a hand up to his neck to rub what must have been aching muscles. He had to be in pain from sleeping like that all night. "Son of a.." he trailed off when he noticed Kate. She was looking at him with a slightly amused expression on her face.

"Hey" he said in a surprised tone as last nights events came rushing back to him. "Hey" she replied. "I'm sorry my hand wasn't more comfortable" she quipped. Jack, obviously still trying to wake up looked at her with a confused expression on his face. "What?" he asked. She gave a light chuckle and gestured to their entwined hands with her eyes. She was hoping to keep the mood light by making a joke.

Upon realizing that he indeed was still holding her hand Jack immediately withdrew it to his side. "Oh...I, uh...I just.." he trailed off. He looked at his shoes for a moment before raising his head to look at her. "How are you feeling?" he asked in his patented doctor mode voice. Kate sighed realizing that now that he was in doctor mode it was definitely all business.

"Pretty good" she answered as he checked her arms, legs and stomach for any sign of the hives. She had to force herself not to shiver when his hands reached her stomach. "Well, it looks like the hives are gone, how is your breathing?" he asked. "Good" she said softly the memory of last night coming back to her. It had been terrifying not being able to breathe. Jack must have noticed her slight change in mood because he quickly changed the subject.

"Do you want to sit up?" he asked. She nodded and he wrapped an arm around her shoulder to help her sit up. "You should eat something" he said. "It will help with the weakness." She watched as Jack looked around the cave. He noticed someone left two mangos and a water bottle on the medicine cart and went to pick them up. From the look on his face she could tell he wasn't happy that he had slept in. It must be late in the morning if someone else had already been here with breakfast.

Jack walked back over and sat next to her on the cushions. She noticed he left an appropriate amount of space between them. He handed her the water which she proceeded to drink rapidly. She hadn't realized how thirsty she was. She watched him silently cut up the mangos. She couldn't read his face. He just seemed lost in his own thoughts.

When he finished, he handed her some mango and then turned to eat his own. But he hesitated. He seemed conflicted about whether to stay or to leave. The awkward air in the cave seemed to rise. They both wanted to say something, anything, but didn't know where to begin. After another minute of silence Kate couldn't take it anymore.

"Thanks" she managed to get out. It was barely more than a whisper, but his nod assured her that he had heard her. After a moments pause she continued. "I mean for everything, last night…and staying with me" She trailed off and studied the rest of her mango not knowing what else to say.

He looked at her briefly and gave another nod. A soft "You're welcome" followed. A small smile appeared on Kate's face. Words. That was all she wanted. Just to hear his voice speaking to her. It wasn't much, but it gave her the confidence to continue. She passed the water bottle to him and spoke as he took a drink.

"Jack, about the hike…let me explain" He cut her off with a shake of his head as he swallowed the water. "You don't have to explain anything to me Kate. You can do what you want, you don't need my approval." Though he tried to say it in an even tone, Kate could hear a hint of anger, or maybe it was distress, in his voice.

"Then why are you so upset?" she asked gently praying she hadn't crossed the line. The last thing she wanted was for him to just get up and leave. But he didn't leave. He remained silent for what seemed like hours to Kate. She watched as the wheels turned in his head. She had no clue what he was thinking, but it was clear he was trying to form what he wanted to say.

She felt the tension between them rising as Jack struggled with whatever inner demon he was battling at the moment. She had no idea he was fighting with his own feelings towards her. After what felt like an eternity he finally spoke. "Kate..it's mostly my fault that things are the way they are between us." He paused and continued to speak at the ground. "I've been punishing you for something that isn't your fault and I'm sorry." He took a breath and continued. "The reason I'm upset is because I care about you. It's not about whether you're capable; it's just about needing to know that you're safe."

Kate let out a breath she didn't know she was holding as he finished. She had no idea what to say. She hadn't been expecting that. Luckily Jack was still staring at the ground. Kate opened her mouth and closed it again. As she tried to wrap her mind around what he had just said, Jack got up and moved to get his backpack. Kate didn't even notice he had moved until he was standing right in front of her looking down at her.

"Make sure you take it easy today" he said. "If you need me for anything, I'll be at the hatch." He then started walking towards the path that led to the hatch. Say something! Her mind was yelling at her. "Jack!" was all that came out. He turned around and walked a few paces back towards her. Crap. She hadn't thought past calling his name. She remained seated looking at her hands and willing her brain to come up with anything to say to him.

"I..uh.." she started, "thank you…for caring" she choked out. He was silent and after a few seconds she raised her head to look at him. There was that nod again, but this time it came with a small and slightly amused smile. He turned back around and headed into the jungle. A smile broke out on Kate's face as she watched his retreating form. And they both breathed a sigh of relief. Things were going to be ok.

THE END

A/N: All feedback is appreciated!


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